By vincentoftheturks@hotmail.com

 

Vincent and Lucrecia

 

 

Vincent pushed open the door of the “Turtles Paradise” and was hit by the

Stale odor of various spirits.  Reno, Rude and Tseng were sitting at the

Corner table.

“Hey, h-h-h-hotshot!” slurred Tseng.  “Where have you been?”

“Nibelheim” Answered Vincent.  “On security.  Buncha eggheads need some

Force behind ‘em.”  He pulled up a seat and moved a few bottles, to give him

Space at the table, at which he placed a glass of milk.  He gave the others

The look he always gave them when being silent.  They often wondered why he

Kept lapsing into silence.  When asked, he would simply reply with “Nothing

To say”.  But this particular time, Vincent had something on his mind.

 

“So anyways....” Continued Reno, although there was no real story to

Continue. “They gots me at Gongaga, doin’ some Mako thing.”  He stopped

For a while, while he gulped noisily from a bottle of Wutai Tequila.  Before

He could continue, Rude started rambling.  “Mako, It’ll never catch on! 

They tried it before with that electricity stuff, and it STANK!!”

“What the hell is wrong with you, Vinnie?” Asked Tseng after only 27 minutes

Of silence.  “You ain’t usually chatty, but at least you cough once in a

While.”

“Well...” Vincent spluttered, getting his voice back in check.  “Its kinda

Embarrassing.”  He looked at Tseng, and Tseng returned a cold stare. 

“Whadda ya mean embarrassing!” Tseng yelled.  “You’re a TURK!”  At that

point Reno jumped from his chair, saluted, and began to sing the Turks

Anthem in a high-pitched voice.  While Rude struggled to restrain him,

Vincent continued.

“Well...You see, at the mansion there’s this...errrrr...Woman.”

Reno and Rude froze mid-wrestle, and Tseng started to smile wickedly.

“Heh Heh!  Nice one Vinnie!” Replied Tseng as he slapped Vincent on the

back.  Reno and Rude started to whoop annoyingly.

“Yeah, Thanks.” Mumbled Vincent.  “But you see...I kinda invited

Her.........Y’know, out.”

“Hmmm” Tseng stared at the ceiling thoughtfully. “Reno, Rude Y’know who I

just saw outside?”

The Pair looked at him expectantly.

“That new cadet...ELENA!”

Two chairs collapsed to the floor, as Reno and Rude both darted for the

door, smoothing down their hair, straightening their ties, and checking

their firearms.

“So, carry on.” Tseng requested.

“O.K.  So the problem is...I’m Y’know, kinda....”

“SHY?”  Tseng Blurted.

“I prefer to use RESERVED, or PREOCCUPIED.”  Vincent corrected.

“It all amounts to the same.” Tseng continued.  “Where are ya takin’ IT?”

“HER!”

“Whatever!”

“That new restaurant in Midgar City.  The Chateau Rufus”

“Good” Tseng retorted.  “Go with it, whaddaya got to lose?”  He got up and

headed for the door.  Just as he opened the door he stopped, and looked back

at Vincent.

“What’s her name anyway?”

Vincent looked up from his glass of milk.

“Oh, Lucrecia.” He replied.

“Lucrecia? Oh, good, ‘cause I got my eye on that Scarlet!”

Vincent started to shudder uncontrollably.

 

 

Chapter 2

 

Vincent pushed open the door of the Chateau Rufus, and stepped inside.  He

pulled back his sleeve and looked at his standard issue Turks watch, and

sighed in relief.  The watch read 7:55pm.  He had five minutes to spare.  He

walked down the “Shinra hall of fame” toward the dining room.  A total of 4

pictures adorned the walls.  He studied them, and saw Heidegger, Scarlet,

Rufus, and a large black wolf-like animal, which he didn’t recognize.  He

looked at the pictures in disguised contempt, and continued walking.  He

stopped again, and straightened his tie.  He now wished that he had worn

another suit.  It took him nearly a full minute to realize that he had only

ONE suit, and he continued to walk.

 

Vincent heaved open the door to the dining room, and was greeted by the

smell of roast Zemzelett, and a rather large Maitre’d.

“Could you pozzibly leave all weapons, materia and holy stones in rezeption,

zir” Droned the Maitre’d, in a slow French drawl.

Vincent put his Turk issue sidearm on a small side table, and placed four

green orbs of materia on top of it, while slyly slipping an enemy-skill

Materia into his pocket.

“They’re not gettin’ this anytime soon!” He muttered to himself.

He looked around for Lucrecia.  He glanced past a table which had Squall and

Rinoa sitting at it.  Rinoa was sitting with her head in her hands looking

sweetly at squall, while Squall sat, arms folded, staring at the floor. 

Vincent looked in the opposite direction, and saw Lucrecia sitting at the

corner table.  Vincent froze for a few seconds, and suddenly snapped out of

it.  He decided to hurry to her table before he froze again.

 

Vincent stepped up to the table, pulled out a chair and sat down.  Lucrecia

watched him, and looked at the table demurely.

“Greeti... er...Hello, Lucrecia” gibbered Vincent nervously.

“Hi, Vince” Replied Lucrecia matter-of-factly.

“So...err...” Mumbled Vincent.  “Geez” He thought, “I can face down

the Midgar Zolom with three bullets and a blind status, but now I’m getting

emotionally beaten up by a sweet little lab technician in a flowery dress.”

Vincent stopped thinking when he realized Lucrecia was looking at him

expectantly.

“How are things at the mansion?”  He blurted out.

“Pretty good, were almost at a breakthrough with the sephiroth clon...” 

Lucrecia put her hand to her mouth.

“...With the novelty ice cream scoops.”  She continued, hoping that Vincent

was not listening completely.  She was right.

 

 

Vincent sat, staring blankly at the young woman playing the piano next to

the bar.  A sign nearby read:

“One night only:  Julia Heartilly”

“.... Vincent, are you listening?”  Lucrecia’s sweet tones interrupted his

“Meditation”.

“I asked how things were with the Turks.” Repeated Lucrecia.

“Oh, right...Yeah, well we spend most time at the headquarters”

“The Turtle’s paradise?”  Lucrecia interrupted

“Yeah” He continued.  “But sometimes we go to the main office”

“That bar in Junon?”

“...Yeah, anyway.  Reno and Rude spend their time having vomiting

competitions, and stalking this new cadet.  And Tseng generally divides up

his time into chatting up women, and getting his face smashed in by their

boyfriends in the car park.”

 

The waiter brought two menus to their table.  They both picked up a menu

each, and began reading.

Vincent studied the menu closely.  He glanced down the list, noting such

Midgarian delicacies as Adamantaimai Steaks and Cactuar cutlets, and the

often lethal Marlboro tentacle stew.

“What do you think?” muttered Vincent from behind his menu.

“Well, I like the look of the Quetzacotl eggs, but I’m not sure about the

unknown 3 surprise.  I’ll have the Moomba casserole.”

“O.K.” said Vincent lowering his menu.

“We’ll have a Moomba casserole, the Ifrit fritters, and a bottle of the

House Hi-potion.” He decided.

The waiter gave his routine “Certainly, sir” and strode toward the kitchen.

Vincent squirmed slightly.

“Vincent?”

“Yes?”

“Are you always this, this silent?” Asked Lucrecia.

“No.  It’s just that I tend to run out of things to say.” He replied. 

Clearly not comfortable talking about himself.

 

Things had gone okay, Vincent had thought.  Sure, it hadn’t been perfect,

perhaps not even good, or tolerable.  But he remained sure that nothing

could possibly get any worse.  Then things got worse.  From the corner of

his eye, Vincent noticed two couples approaching his table.  One couple

consisted of Reno and Elena, and another couple, consisted of Tseng and a

young girl in a pink dress, with a pink bow in her hair, and a pink jacket,

clasping a bunch of pink flowers.

“Geez” Thought Vincent.  “This girl sure loves pink.  Assuming Tseng isn’t

going on a date with some candy floss.”

 

 

Chapter 3

 

Vincent squirmed in his seat, while the two couples gradually moved closer,

and waited for the inevitable.  Sure enough, the inevitable occurred and

Tseng threw his arms open and ran towards Vincent’s table.

“VINNIE!!!” Yelled Tseng.  “What in the hell are ya doin’ here!!”

Lucrecia blushed slightly and looked down slightly.

“Were on a...” Vincent struggled to look for a suitable word.  “DATE”

was the best he could come up with.

“Oh yeah, now I remember!  So, how’s it goin’?”  Tseng waited for an answer.

Vincent nodded toward Lucrecia and made a sweeping “GO AWAY” movement with

his hand.

 

Despite Vincent’s many protestations, complaints and vicious limit breaks,

Tseng and Reno chose the table closest to him.  Vincent watched as the

couples were sitting down, and Lucrecia coughed slightly to grab his

attention.

“So......They are your friends?” Lucrecia asked quietly.

“Yeah”  Replied Vincent, pleased that he finally had something to speak

about.  “That long haired guy, chatting up the waitress, that’s Tseng.” 

Vincent pointed, and Lucrecia leaned across the table to see him, and

Vincent retreated slightly when she got too close.  Thankfully she didn’t

notice and he continued.

“The one balancing a beer bottle on his face is Reno and the blonde haired

girl attacking him is Elena, that cadet I told you about.”  Vincent settled

back into his seat.

“What about the other girl?”  Asked Lucrecia.

“I don’t know her, but I think her name is Aeris.  She had a stall at a

flower growers festival last year.”

Lucrecia gave him a puzzled look.  “YOU were at a flower sellers

convention?”

“I was there to err...Beat up some...crooked.... begonia salesmen.”

 

 

Chapter 4

 

Their meals finished, both Vincent and Lucrecia fell silent for a few

minutes and Vincent started to look around.  His attention switched to Julia

Heartilly again as she stopped playing “Eyes on Me” and switched to a very

fast, very loud version of “Ding, Dong the witch is dead”.  Nobody noticed,

or at least nobody complained.  Tseng now grabbed Vincent’s attention

having a heated (and drunken) discussion with the headwaiter.

“Who the hell ya think you are, huh?”  Screamed Tseng, pointing at the

waiter and wobbling slightly.

“I’m sorry sir, but I cannot accept this credit card.”  The head waiter

stood his ground and cut the “Bank of Midgar” credit card in half.

“You stinkin’ piece of %^*$.  You *^£$* &()^%..........”

The “conversation” carried on for the better part of a minute, before the

Headwaiter turned to walk away.

“Where you goin’” Tseng yelled after him.  “Reno, help me out here!”

Reno stood up crookedly and started to sing the Turks anthem again.

 

Vincent, Lucrecia, and everyone else in the restaurant looked on,

bewildered, as a group of very large Shinra soldiers walked toward Tseng’s

table.  Aeris spotted the problem and left through the fire exit, while

Elena leapt through the window.  Tseng and Reno stood up and readied for

battle.  Vincent looked around to notice that everyone else in the

restaurant had evacuated.  Lucrecia was still sitting opposite him, looking

worried.  Julia also remained, this time giving a beautiful performance of

“Fort Condor Forever” on a banjo.  The six surly guards moved toward Tseng

and Reno, who still held their battle poses.  Tseng reached into his pocket

and produced a shiny green orb.  He smiled mischievously to Vincent and

yelled.  Green light filled the restaurant.

 

When the light faded, Vincent picked himself up and smoothed down his hair. 

Lucrecia pulled herself out of a stack of chairs, and looked around dizzily.

“What...Was...That?”  She asked weakly.

“ULTIMA, I think.” Replied Vincent. “Mastered probably.”

Tseng and Reno looked around at the mass destruction, and giggled, before

collapsing into a drunken stupor.

“Well, thank you for the evening, Vincent.  It was .........different.” 

Said Lucrecia as she stepped over the mangled doors and slipped through the

doorway.

“I wonder what Mr. Hojo’s doing tonight?”  She mumbled to herself as she

walked down the desecrated hallway.

 

As Vincent looked around at the mess, he heard a faint scratching sound.  He

Traced the sound to the piano, and lifted the lid.  He helped Julia out of

the piano and watched as she dusted herself down.

“Well thank you...err...” She looked at him expectantly.

“Vincent Valentine” he murmured.

“Thank you, Vincent Valentine,” She giggled.

“You know, Vincent...” She continued.  “The 7th Heaven is still open, and I

hear the entertainment is first class.”

“Oh...” Started Vincent. “Shall we?”

Vincent and Julia Linked arms and walked out of the collapsing restaurant.

“You know Vincent, I really like the shy...” Vincent Glared at her.

“Preoccupied type.” She continued.

 

 

THE END