Cid Breakwind walked into the bar. Sephy was sitting there, drinking.

"Hi Sephy." Cid called.

Sephy looked up from his booze. "Hi."

Cid sat at the table. Sephy drank down his bottle.

"Ahhh." Sephy said.

"Thirsty, huh?" Cid asked.

"I haven’t seen you around for a while Cid. And yes, I am." He grinned.

"I’ve been busy pimping and all that."

Sephy got up and walked over to Cid. He sat down next to him.

"What the hell you grinning at?" Cid asked. "That’s spooky."

"Hey, what have you been pimping Cid?"

"Nothing really. Can’t find no more ho’s."

"Hmmm, to bad."

"And I can’t find Fluffy anywhere."

Sephy drank the rest of the bottle. "I think Ruphie scared her off."

"I think so too."

"So, you got no ho’s?"

"Nope. The god father is fresh out."

"To bad."

"Yeah, it is."

Sephy tossed the bottle at some innocent customer and watched him fall to the ground.

"But you know my modo," Cid said, "Pimping ain’t easy. Woah, good hit."

Sephy looked at him. "Yep. Now I’m bored."

"Hmm, you’re different."

"Different? How so?"

"For some reason you’re acting strange. You ok?"

"No, just acting like myself. I’m fine."

"Ok…"

"Hmmm, what the hell were you pimping if you had no more ho’s?"

"I was looking for ho’s to pimp."

"Ahh."

"I was being a pimp scout."

"Ok. Too bad you didn’t find any."

"No more ho’s for the ho train. Yeah, it’s a crying shame."

Sephy nodded. "Yeah."

"So, where’s Clud?"

"At home."

"Ok. Got him doing house work, huh?"

Sephy grabbed the nearest waiter and ordered him to get him some scotch. He looked back at Cid. "No."

"Oh. He’s just sitting at home? That must be boring."

"Yeah. He’s probably still on the bed."

"I heard something about a big snake and Barret, but it’s probably a bunch of bullshit as usual."

"Barret’s dead."

"Huh? He is?"

Sephy grabbed the bottle of scotch as it came. He opened it and started to drink.

"Oh well," Cid said, "I hated that annoying bastard anyway and his Elvis shit sucked."

"Yeah, he was annoying. Screamed a lot inside the snake. And then on my Masamune."

"Snake? Masamune? You mean it’s not BS?"

Sephy drank down his scotch and looked at Cid. "No."

"There’s a huge fucking snake loose out there?"

"No."

"Oh. You killed Barret?"

"He was bothering me."

"Where does the snake come in?"

Sephy looked at Cid and grinned.

"Damn it," Cid grumbled, "I told you not to grin at me."

"Heh, heheh."

Cid got up.

"Sit down." Sephy ordered.

"What the hell is with you? Oh hell no, you’re starting to freak me out."

Sephy whipped out his Masamune and pointed it at Cid.

"Agh!" Cid yelped.

"Sit down and have a drink."

"Ok, ok, I’m sitting." He sat down. "Damn, when you want company."

Sephy put his Masamune away. "Better."

"What’s with you?"

Sephy grabbed another waiter and told him to bring over some whiskey. He looked back at Cid. "What do you mean?"

"And what about this fucking snake thing?"

Sephy grabbed the bottles when they came and placed one in front of Cid. Sephy opened his own bottle. Both he and Cid chugged their whisky.

"So tell me," Cid went on, "what is this snake thing. It was big enough to get Barret’s fat ass in it."

"Heh heh, I can transform, didn’t you know?"

"Huh? Into things? Can you transform into shit? That would be funny. Big plop of shit."

Sephy chucked the empty bottle at another patron of the bar.

"Ouch," Cid said, "Another hit."

"Yep."

Cid kept drinking. "What a minute, you turned into a big snake and ate Barret?"

"Why not?"

"Damn, I hope you had some big jaws."

"Yeah." Sephy grinned.

"Well, don’t do it around me."

"Heh, afraid of snakes?"

"You must be able to turn yourself into one of them anaconda snakes."

"You could say that."

"I just don’t wanna be eaten."

Sephy grinned. "Neither does Clud."

"Well you know it’s been fun but um, I got to, um, run!"

Sephy took out his Masamune. "Stay."

"Ok, ok. Put that thing away ok?"

Sephy stabbed it into the ground. "Now, you sure you got no ho’s or nothing?"

"No, um, no ho’s, but, but, I think I can find one for ya."

Sephy nodded. "Good."

"Now, you don’t want to eat me now, do you?"

"Not at the moment."

"You don’t want to eat me period. You ain’t going to eat me."

"Don’t dictate what I’m going to do or I’ll use you for a dart board."

"You’re not going to eat me and that’s final! Agh! You’re psycho man!"

Sephy leveled his eyes on Cid. "Don’t tempt me."

"Don’t make me kick your ronny poo candy ass. Umm. If that’s ok with um, you sir."

Sephy laughed. "It isn’t."

"Umm," Cid looked at the door, "Umm."

"Don’t."

"Gulp. I’m not going to leave."

"Good." Orders up another round of whiskey. "Drink."

Cid picked up his old bottle and drank the last of it. Sephiroth took his new bottle and guzzled it down. He looked around.

"Damn," Cid commented. "That was quick. Um, you know, that guy over there looks tastier than me."

"Nope."

"Or, how about her? She looked plum, and juicer."

Sephy stood up and looked at Cid.

"And…" Cid gulped.

"I do believe you are making me mad."

"That’s not good, right?"

"Right." Lightning quick he picked Cid up with one hand.

"Agh!"

Sephy whipped the empty bottle at the waiter. He then took the full bottle of Whiskey and poured it over Cid.

"Agh!" Cid yelled. "What the hell are you doing?"

Sephy walked over to the wall and hung Cid on it. Then he tied him there and started to lick up the whiskey.

"Sephy," Cid shouted, "Please don’t kill me!"

Sephy looked into Cid’s eyes.

"Agh!" Cid shouted, "Come on man, I’m your buddy! Your friend, your pal, your comrade!"

"Oh really?"

"Some on, don’t eat me!"

"Why?"

"I taste really bad. My skin is tough. I’m old damn it."

"So?"

"Gulp. Did you order original or extra crispy?"

"Heh, heh, funny."

"Good bye cruel world."

Sephy shook his head. "You don’t know cruel yet…"

"Eat me! Eat me you cock sucking bitch!"

Sephy laughed. "Is that what you think of me?"

Cid punched at Sephy’s face. "Eat me!"

Sephy grabbed the hand and broke it slowly by crushing it. Cid screamed as Sephy poured the rest of the whiskey on him.

"Oy," Cid exclaimed, "What a way to go." He drank some of it as Sephy shifted into his serpent form. "Oh well, it’s been fun. No more ho’s. No more pimping. No more ho train!"

Sephy looked into his eyes, flicking his tongue.

"Oh man," Cid screamed, "That is one big fucking snake! I hate snakes!"

Sephy hissed and started to coil around him.

"Great," Cid screamed, "I’m done in by a snake! God damn you God! I’m going out by a snake! I hate snakes!"

Sephy flicked his tongue in Cid’s face and extended his jaws. He swallowed Cid.

"Goodbye cruel world!" Cid shouted.

"Cid," Sephy thought at him, "no, hello cruel world."

"Agh!" Cid screamed as the acid hit him. "This shit hurts! Agh! My skin is coming off! Agh! My hair is gone! Agh!" After a while Cid was dead, in that slow and painful manner.